Question 1

My father in Chapel Hill was just diagnosed with dementia — what should our family do in the first month?

Accepted Answer

Start by asking his diagnosing physician (often through UNC Health's geriatrics or memory program) for a written care plan and a referral to legal and financial planning, since powers of attorney and advance directives need to be signed while he still has capacity to do so. Contact the Central Pines/Triangle J Area Agency on Aging (1-800-310-9777) for local caregiver support resources, adult day programs, and options counseling covering Orange County. Avoid rushing into a move; a dementia diagnosis alone doesn't mean immediate relocation to a facility, but you should start researching Special Care Unit (memory care) options now so you're not deciding under crisis conditions later.

Question 2

My mother fell at home in Apex and is being sent to rehab — what happens if she can't go back home afterward?

Accepted Answer

If your mother's rehab stay ends and she still needs help with daily activities beyond what home care can safely provide, the rehab facility's social worker can help evaluate options ranging from an adult care home (assisted living) to continued skilled nursing on a long-term basis. If she is running low on funds, ask the facility's social worker about applying for long-term-care Medicaid through Wake County DSS and, if she needs nursing-facility-level care but wants to try staying home instead, ask about the CAP/DA Medicaid waiver. Start these conversations early in the rehab stay rather than waiting for discharge day, since Medicaid applications take time to process.

Question 3

I'm exhausted from caring for my husband with Parkinson's in Durham — what respite options exist before I burn out completely?

Accepted Answer

Adult day programs in the Durham area provide structured daytime supervision so you can work, rest, or run errands, and the Central Pines/Triangle J Area Agency on Aging (1-800-310-9777) maintains referral information on local options. If your husband qualifies for the CAP/DA Medicaid waiver, respite care is one of its covered in-home services, allowing a paid aide to step in for scheduled breaks. Short-term respite stays at licensed adult care homes are another option for a multi-day break; ask Duke Health's care coordination team or the Area Agency on Aging for current openings.

Question 4

I live in Seattle and my mother lives alone in Raleigh — how do I manage her care from across the country?

Accepted Answer

Start by identifying a local point of contact: a geriatric care manager, a trusted neighbor, or a home-care agency that can do in-person check-ins, since phone calls alone won't reveal safety issues at home. Contact the Central Pines/Triangle J Area Agency on Aging (1-800-310-9777) for free options counseling covering Wake County, and ask your mother's primary care provider (WakeMed, UNC REX, or Duke-affiliated practices all offer patient portals) whether you can be added as an authorized contact so you can join telehealth visits remotely. Establishing power of attorney for healthcare and finances now, while she's able to sign, will make it far easier to act quickly if a crisis happens.

Question 5

My father's savings are almost gone after 18 months in an adult care home near Raleigh — what happens next?

Accepted Answer

Before his funds run out entirely, apply for North Carolina's State/County Special Assistance (SA) program through Wake County DSS, which is a state- and county-funded cash supplement (not a Medicaid waiver) that helps pay room-and-board costs for eligible low-income adult care home residents. SA recipients are automatically eligible for Medicaid, which then covers his personal care and medical needs. Start the application at least a month or two before his assets are projected to hit the $2,000 asset limit, since processing takes time and a gap in payment can jeopardize his placement.

Question 6

My wife is in assisted living in Cary but her dementia has progressed — does she need to move to memory care?

Accepted Answer

If she's showing signs like wandering, exit-seeking, or needing more supervision than the general assisted living staff can safely provide, ask the facility directly whether they have a licensed Special Care Unit (SCU) on-site or whether a transfer to a memory-care-designated community is recommended. In North Carolina, a Special Care Unit is a distinct designation added to a facility's adult care home license, requiring a specific state-approved disclosure statement about staffing, programming, and physical safety features — ask to see that disclosure before deciding. If you're the community spouse and finances are a concern, know that Medicaid rules protect a minimum monthly income allowance for you even if she eventually needs Medicaid-covered nursing facility care.

Senior care in Raleigh's own neighborhoods

Oakwood

Cameron Village / Village District

Boylan Heights

Hayes Barton

Mordecai

Downtown / Glenwood South

South Park

North Hills

Wakefield

Falls River

Brier Creek

Five Points

Stonehenge

Six Forks

North Raleigh

Midtown

Questions families ask

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