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I can't keep doing this alone

Respite, adult day care, and the free local support most families never hear about.

Quick answer

Respite, adult day care, and the free local support most families never hear about.

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Home›By Situation›I can't keep doing this alone

If you are reading this at 2 a.m., that is information. Caregiver exhaustion is not a character flaw, and there is more free support in most metros than families ever find.

Short answer

Respite, adult day care, and the free local support most families never hear about.

What to do, in order

  1. Take the exhaustion seriously as a clinical fact. Caregiver strain predicts poor outcomes for both people.
  2. Use respite before you are desperate. CareScout does not publish a North Carolina adult day health care median, but CAP/DA can help cover it as one of its 18 covered in-home services for eligible enrollees.
  3. Take the free support that exists here. The Triangle J/Central Pines Area Agency on Aging offers Information and Referral and Options Counseling services at no cost; Franklin County residents should contact Kerr-Tar instead.
  4. Get a second opinion on the plan. Your county's Area Agency on Aging will review options at no cost.
  5. Name the thing you are avoiding. Most caregivers know what the next step is months before they take it.

Questions families ask

How do I actually apply for CAP/DA if my mother lives in Raleigh?

Apply for long-term-care Medicaid generally through Wake County's Department of Social Services, and apply for CAP/DA specifically by contacting a local CAP/DA case management entity serving Wake County; the CAP/DA program is administered overall by the NC Division of Health Benefits/NC Medicaid within NCDHHS. The NC Medicaid Contact Center (888-245-0179) can help direct families to the correct local starting point.

Is CAP/DA the same thing as Medicaid paying for assisted living in Wake County?

No. CAP/DA is a home- and community-based waiver that serves people living in their own home, not in a licensed adult care home or assisted living facility, so it does not pay for assisted living room and board or services. North Carolina has no Medicaid waiver dedicated to assisted living; room and board there is instead covered through the non-Medicaid State/County Special Assistance program.

What is State/County Special Assistance, and is it a Medicaid waiver?

State/County Special Assistance (SA) is a state- and county-funded cash supplement that helps pay the room-and-board cost for eligible low-income residents of licensed adult care homes and family care homes — it is explicitly not a Medicaid waiver or Medicaid program itself. SA recipients do become automatically eligible for Medicaid, which then covers separate medical and personal-care costs, but the SA cash payment for room and board comes from state and county funds, not the Medicaid program.

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